I ooze with 

almost there! and close enough. 

Mediocracy infiltrates my life and seeps through the cracks of my deficiencies. It hardens and solidifies
me in the neverending cycle of self hatred and harshness. 

I just want to be good. I want to be good so bad. 

The thoughts intrude and batter me black and blue. I can’t stop. I am bad. Nothing is right. Everyone hates me. I will never be good.  

But I saw the other side. I sipped life without hatred and let go of the breath I had held onto for so long. It
was the greatest release of my life. It didn’t last but god was it glorious. 

Now when I try to sample this again the well comes up dry. Is that all I deserve just a taste? 

The universe is kind but I am not. When they hold me and whisper sweet words into my hair 

The little voice in my head cries out after them

No. No I am not.